


Trust Fall

by ThereIsNoTragedyInThat



Series: Spirits and Cocaine [15]
Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, I know that's confusing, Javier Peña is responsible for everyone, M/M, Missing Scene, Pre-Slash, Short & Sweet, Trust Issues, a little sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:03:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29584170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat/pseuds/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat
Summary: It wasn't the kidnapping itself that really pissed Steve off...it was that Javier was the one to sell him out.
Relationships: Steve Murphy/Javier Peña
Series: Spirits and Cocaine [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100027
Comments: 8
Kudos: 21





	Trust Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Kidnapping 
> 
> I feel like I should apologize for the lack of wall shoving in here

Steve’s hands were still shaking.

He paced the hallway of his apartment over and over, eyes squeezing closed in an attempt to banish the anxiety still knotting his chest. The Cali fucking Cartel had been admittedly less intimidating than he’d expected, hadn’t done a damn thing to really threaten his life but the implication of him being so easily picked off the street, rubbed him the wrong way.

This whole thing was a mess and the one person who he was supposed to be able to trust, who was supposed to have his back, had sold him out. Except there was a part of him buried beneath the bubbling fury and stinging betrayal…that didn’t believe that for a second. Steve could still feel Javier’s hands on him, gripping his arm after he’d been shoved into a wall, clinging to him like a lifeline, trying to hold him steady while he erupted. The look on his face when he’d burst into the ambassador’s office swam before his eyes, the fear hidden in their depths, finally prompted him to move.

It was inevitable that he would end up here.

Staring at Javier’s door, plain and unassuming, he felt his heart begin to race. He needed some fucking answers, needed his infuriating partner to lay it out for him, how much he knew and how much he was part of this. Steve wasn’t going to pretend this was about the kidnapping, not really, this was about the way he’d found himself looking to Javier to have his back, the way they always seemed to be in each other’s pocket, the way Javier looked at him and looked at his lips, the way everything had started feeling like _them_ , the two of them.

Rapping his knuckles quickly against the door, the sound unusually loud to his own ears, he tried to reign in the anger, didn’t want to repeat what had happened in the hallways of the embassy, what shouldn’t have happened to begin with.

When Javier opened the door, Steve was struck by how tired he looked, how resigned, like this was exactly what he expected and wasn’t the least bit happy about it. Irritation prickled along his skin because there was no reason for him to act like the victim here, not a damn one, “we need to talk.”

Javier sighed, stepped away, hand gesturing behind him and Steve walked in, headed straight for the living room they’d spent too much time in together. They had shared secrets here, had drank and talked, and danced and let something soft and sweet grow between them. The memories felt soured now, but he hoped they wouldn’t stay that way.

Behind him, Steve found Javier leaning against the wall, eyes steady, arms crossed over his chest. His entire posture screamed defensive and he’d have laughed at him any other time, ask him what exactly he thought there was to defend…like his actions had any justification, “you planning to push me into any more walls Murphy?”

Steve hated that he immediately missed his name on those lips, hated that Javier knew intimately how annoyed he was by him using his last name outside the office. He hadn’t been planning on any more shoving, yet just like always, his partner could be so damn infuriating that he was starting to consider it, if only to make the man look him in the eye.

His hands were still fucking shaking.

A question bubbled up his throat, sat threateningly on his tongue and it wasn’t what he wanted to ask, not by a longshot but he let it slip into the hostile space between them anyway, “tell me whose side you are on Javi.”

Javier’s gaze darkened, his posture a little bit stiffer and Steve felt strangely vindicated by the obvious offense he took to it because maybe that meant something to him and maybe he wasn’t as far gone as he’d feared his partner was.

“I’m on the side that catches Escobar,” he replied, voice tight and seething.

The thing was, Steve knew him better than anyone, better than himself most days and the lie burned right through the charade. He didn’t mean it, he said it because he thought that was what Steve wanted to hear. Steve turned away, ran a hand through his hair and tried to find a way forward, “and if the side of getting Escobar means betraying the DEA, the United States?” He knew that Javier wasn’t the patriotic type, that wasn’t his motivation, and he didn’t blame him but he still couldn’t spit out the question he really wanted to ask, felt it sitting heavy inside him, under the lock and key he’d wrapped it in ages ago. “Are you willing to sell everyone out to catch him?”

The silence was telling.

Footsteps came closer and Steve felt that knot in his chest tighten.

“I take care of my people Murphy,” blinking, he turned back to Javier, found him not three paces away, a calculated distance and the warmth of his eyes was back, sincerity dripping from every word. “Do really think I’m running for the Calis’? Do you really think I’m feeding them info and working their side? Do you _really_ think that I can be fuckin _bought_?”

He didn’t and that was why this whole mess was so confusing, why he couldn’t wrap his head around Javier giving his photos to them or why he would put that target on his back to begin with. Steve shook his head, frustration turning to anger on the way out and making him growl, wanted to shove Javier away from him so he could breathe, so he could _think_.

“I want to be able to trust you,” he spit. “But you are making it very fucking hard.”

Steve didn’t say that he _needed_ to be able to trust Javier, that his was a non-negotiable and if he couldn’t, well that would break his heart. There was nothing worse than not being able to trust somebody you love, because he’d seen what that did to people, the way it poisoned everything for them.

“I know,” Javier murmured, voice going low and intense, leaning forward just a little bit. “But you can’t only trust somebody when its easy.”

“You sold me out Javi.” Steve shook his head, tried to get around that thought and found himself right back where he started. “You need to give me a reason to trust you.”

His partner nodded and Steve wondered if his desperation was in his eyes because Javier reached out, hand slow and cautious in a way that would be funny if it wasn’t so sad and settled it on his shoulder. The urge to push his hand away rose like a wave and then died as the warmth of his palm seeped through his shirt and into his skin…his hands finally seemed to stop shaking from where they hung at his sides. Javier seemed to search his face, a resigned little smile crooking his lips when Steve didn’t react, and then he was being tugged into his partner’s welcoming embrace.

It was almost embarrassing how quickly he buried his face in his shoulder, the way his hands wrapped around Javi like he didn’t ever want to let go, his entire body sinking into the other man as all the stress and tension seeped from his bones.

“I take care of my people,” Javi whispered in his ear again, voice earnest and assured. “I knew they wouldn’t hurt you, never would have risked it in the first place if I thought they’d do anything but lay it out for you.” It was easy, like this, to believe him, because he _did_ know Javi and that had been the problem. He’d known the man would never do anything to hurt him. “There isn’t much I wouldn’t do…haven’t done to take down Escobar but I’ve never put anyone I love at risk, I’d never trade your life for his, I would burn this city to the ground first.”

The vehemence of his statement should scare him, at the very least unsettle him, yet all he did was clench his hands in the fabric of Javier’s shirt and hold him closer. The knot in his chest loosened, relaxed and that helplessness that had been clawing at his back settled deep into the recesses of his mind.

Not being able to trust somebody who completely and irreversibly owned your heart, held it beating and bleeding in their hands, would be the absolute worst kind of hell. Luckily, that wasn’t something he’d ever have to worry about.


End file.
